Getting ready for my next 5k…Thanksgiving Day Turkey Trot in Long Beach!

http://justinrudd.com/turkeytrot/index.html.

Finally! Someone who understands me!

Now if only I could meet them….

It’s been 40 days now…

…and I feel more stable than I have.  The ups and downs have been extreme to say the least.  The emotions were wild the first three weeks.  I’d say so far, weeks two and three were the absolute worse (regarding my attitude and lack of a “filter”).  Week one was the toughest in regard to actual nicotine craving.

7 days into abstinence, I lost my temper to the extreme and cried the deepest cry I’ve experienced since my Mom passed five years ago.

The two major experiences have been craving and grieving.

The “craving” is mostly for the routine.  Even the sensation of breathing smoke in….and blowing it out.  It was a time that belonged to me, and me only.  Early in the morning, out on the back porch with my coffee….after I get home from work for a 30 minute wind down….after dinner, again on my back porch and my dog…..before bed smoke with a cup of tea…and the Saturday/Sunday early morning long, drawn out cups of coffee with a good book!  Hell yeah I miss ‘em!

The “grieving” is for my friend…the I spent most my time with.  It was MY TIME…just me and the cig.  Time to think, breath, read, relax, stress and get my thoughts together, listen to you talk, sit on the phone (something I’m so not fond of), something to do while waiting, something to get me out of a conversation, to prepare me for a conversation; an interview; a meeting; a trip; a drive; a anything!

It was my comrade in emotions….at least the ones I thought I was feeling….anger, sadness, loss, success, laughter, anxiety, fear, relief…

At day 40, things feel a little more stable.  Still having mood swings, but able to exercise a little more self control.  Definitely finding working out and meditation helpful.  Eating rocks too!  I actually hurt my back over a week ago while doing my Yoga.  I was just on fire with anger and was making myself get into a pose I just didn’t have the patience for….real spiritual moment let me tell ya!

Anyway, someone told me a couple of days ago the following:

“The good news is…you get your feelings back.  The bad news is…you get your feelings back”.

Day by Day, Law by Law, Mind by Changing Mind

Sharing with you from The Briefing Room – The Blog:

“These ideals, when voiced by generations of citizens, are what made it possible for me to stand here today. These ideals are what made it possible for the people in this room to live freely and openly when for most of history that would have been inconceivable. That is the promise of America. That is the promise we are called to fulfill. And day by day, law by law, mind by changing mind, that is the promise we are fulfilling.”
– President Obama, HRC National Dinner, October 10, 2009

…While our long-term focus is on major legislative goals like repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and DOMA, passing an employment non-discrimination act, and providing domestic partner benefits for federal employees, we are also working daily to find ways  to make life a little better and a little fairer for LGBT Americans….

Go to The Blog to read this article.

Incoming text today…

Don’t forget to breath…

If…

When you feel that nobody loves you,

nobody cares for you,

and everyone is ignoring you,

you should really ask yourself…

am I TOO sexy??

Children Today 5k – First one in nearly 18 years!

I guess the P90X is paying off!  Two Roads (my work) sponsored a 5k run last weekend, and I decided to be a part of it.  Glad I did!  Although I don’t run much, I was able to complete it in about 37 minutes….with 3.5 minutes of walking.

a little support goes a long way!

Thanks to my friend Chris who kept the pace, and kept me running!  I absolutely wouldn’t have kept running without him, and would have no doubt asked myself what the hell I was thinking!  Instead, it was so cool to see what my personal best was going to be!  We’ve signed up for the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning, and I can’t think of a better way to start a day of gratitude then to run with some friends!

See you there!

http://www.turkeytrot.us/

Day 16…”Sweet 16″?

So it’s day 16 without nicotine.  It feels like things on the inside are settling down a bit.  Instead of a constant surge of anger, sadness, craving, or turrets, it just comes in waves now.  It will definitely peak, but I feel like I can get over the hump without causing damage..to others or myself.

The craving for food has hit me like a ton of bricks.  Tonight I stocked up on some crunchy raw veggies to munch on tomorrow.  I’m looking for something I can break with my teeth.

My sleeping is getting amazingly better, and things are getting pretty “regular” as well!  (This is for those folks that might be thinking of quitting….it kept me from trying for a long time).

I’ve stayed in regular contact with people who have several years of no more smoking under their belts.  Their support is my saving grace.  I’m also pretty blessed to have supportive and patient co-workers as well.  I highly recommend letting the ones that work the closest to you know what you are doing.  They understand your mood swings a little better.  Personally, once I informed them, I felt more responsible to put forth some effort in being “nice”.  Which I think is important to maintain a decent relationship with them.  You do spend most of your waking hours with these people you know…

So, day 16 couldn’t be MORE sweeter!  I never thought I could do one day!  And it’s just plain awesome to NOT be a smoker!

Diaper Drawers to the Rescue

I saw a guy standing next to his bike, and a HUGE maxi-pad looking thing between his legs…in his shorts…from front to back!  I’m telling you, it looked huge!  (the pad that is) And totally uncomfortable. My first thoughts?  Come on!  It can’t be THAT bad…stop buying those stupid stick like bike seats, and your ass might feel a little better!

Turns out, there’s a reason there’s is less padding in the seat, and more in the shorts:

The padding in bike shorts isn’t padding…it is a chamois, designed to displace moisture and prevent chaffing…not to pad your tushie from the big mean hard saddle as some think. The main advantage of bike shorts, besides displacing moisture and preventing chaffing, is compression of the muscles.

Here’s what another cyclyst says on his blog about the subject:

A little spandex (and padding) goes a long way, and when I headed for home but would have preferred riding longer, I knew the real reason people love to bike: it’s a fast, fun, and comfortable workout. Three cheers for weird shorts!

So, I am open to the idea of wearing these shorts.  However, I must admit, I will be one of those people who have to log several miles of discomfort before taking the Diaper Drawers plung….to be continued…